Stop obsessing.

I am not pious although I wish I am. I am just trying to practice my religion as much as I can in hopes that one day, Allah will open my heart to accept more of His blessings. I am constantly on the lookout for self-betterment and trying to make do with whatever resources I have to learn something new each day. My journey has been a struggle from the start but as I grow older, I begin to see what I was supposed to see back then.

Now that I am seeing things from a different light and my perspectives of things change, it has come to my realization how ignorant human beings can be. I am, although not all the time, bombarded with the same things like, ”I have no one to guide me with Islam” or ”I just lost my way and I am still searching for my way home” or along the lines of trying but couldn’t because there is no one or anything to guide them. I understand the difficulties but it has to start somewhere. It has to have a beginning before you could start a journey. It’s your call.

Personally, I have been talking a lot about ”rezeki” lately with friends and families and how it varies for different people. Some had it easy while others need to go through the hard way before they could actually get what they wanted. I used to cry thinking about my own ”rezeki” because I constantly look at how others live their lives and how they are well-off and well, I was just living my life in mediocrity. Mediocrity didn’t really work for me back then and I constantly felt miserable and envious of other people’s lives. I wasn’t too envious though but sometimes I found myself comparing myself. Insecurity my friend, is a disease which needs to be taken care of.

Alhamdulillah now years after, with guidance and a strong will, I begin finding myself understanding more of Allah’s blessings and constantly try to share with others on how to achieve more of Allah’s love and rewards. Now when I think about it, it was pathetic back then how I constantly asked for more but never bothered to follow Allah’s obligations or even pray. Prayers are always one of the so many and easiest way to communicate with Allah. I find tranquility in praying and Alhamdulillah, Allah is listening.

The funniest bit about rezeki is how people perceived them to be. Some think that rezeki is in the form of money only but lacking the understanding that rezeki is in the form of so many ways such as the love of our parents and even when things are running smoothly in our lives. Some people actually thought that rezeki is easy to obtain as easy as putting our palms together and supplicates to the Al Mighty. Allah has said that effort and prayers will bring success to those who believe. So it only makes sense if you want money, you pray for it but didn’t work for it, money won’t fall from the sky. πŸ™‚

Usaha my friends. Usaha is the key element to an easy life – financially. And of course, refraining ourselves from sins. Repentance will help purify our souls and insyaAllah when our heart is pure and true, Allah will make it easier for us. It is the obsession with life with the Dunia that make us all a bit too sluggish when it comes to devoting our time for Allah. I am one of the people too. Sometimes, it was easier for me to log into facebook and spent my time one hour infront of my laptop doing nothing than taking 15 minutes of my time taking the ablution and perform my prayers. Subhanallah. 😦

We need to constantly remind ourselves with what is important. Prioritise things. When rezeki isn’t coming our way, it might find it hard to find the door to enter into our lives so pray that it will be an easy journey for our rezeki to reach us. Sometimes when it seems to not work, it’s probably how we live our lives. Allah is fair. I don’t think that it is logical for Him to give us everything because He gives some and He takes some. Balance yet it is hard for us to accept that.

We constantly want more yet never realizes how we never bothered to show our appreciation to Allah. Sigh. Sometimes I find myself to be very pathetic because there were days when I wished I had more money to spend and then realise how greedy I was and felt embarassed with myself. I don’t know. I think it takes a lot from someone to realise his/her faults and in this kind of case, we have no one to answer to but Allah Himself. Don’t be too obsessed with the worldly matters. Life’s too short to be obsessing over how many material things we have compared to our neighbors or extended families. Just my two cents for tonight.

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